Sunday, February 28, 2010

MISS u so MUCH

27th Feb 2010
very very very SORRY as i told u i could online @ brunei airport but actually thy dont provide free wifi... what a shit as airport...

from BRUNEI, i FLEW to AUCKLAND being inside the plane for 10 hours+/-... COULDNT STOP MISSing U... LYNN, really missed u so much on the plane... i slept inside and also woke up... TINKing of U... DIDNT HUG LYNN BEAR as dad packed it up in the luggage... had 2 meals in the plane and slept then woke up, slept and the enxt thing i knew, i'm here in AUCKLAND...

well, when i reached i texted u of course... but my phone went through some problems so i had to DLT all the msges u sent me in M'SIA... after a few mins, i found out that the phone was some sorta upside down, and so i didnt had to DLT yr msges... THIS made me SAD... as i 'm so CLUMSY and dlted yr MSGes...

shudnt have done that... well, called u again when i reached home... WORRIED, MISS n <3 u too MUCH i guess... 2mr's gonna be uni day so i slept early...

TODAY
well i woke up @ 6 am and saw yr msg and u didnt sleep @ all... waiting for me i guess... BUT u HAVTA sleep too... u BETTER get a good REST b4 waiting for me... >=3 then i woke @ 7.30 am to get ready for uni... UNI...... ISNT FUN @ all... i guess i hadnt made any friends yet so i tink it's NOT FUN @ all... then i went home for the day @ 11.30 skipping a class starting @ 12... hehe naughty me... MUM bought me a "a week pass" for buses n trains... well i'll havta be more persistent with this course as i MADE a PROMISE to U(my dear MOGU)... i BLOGGED here risking my um to come upstaris therfore i typed very fast and havta end it in a few more sentences...

ALWAYS <3ing U...

公蘑菇

Thursday, February 25, 2010

the LAST day

i'm very HAPPIE as u always said u cant come out with me... but in the end, u always end up coming out... it's d last day and i hope u could come to the bbq @ my aunt's hse... and u kept saying u could not... and i kept pushing u to come to the end, FORCING U TO COME... am i being too selfish or what??? i dont really knoe if i've done the RIGHT thing FORCING u to come...

well, in d end u showed up and i'm VERY VERY HAPPIE... didnt expect ut o come... dont even noe if this'll get u into trouble with yr dad... really feel unsafe for u... i dont really want u to get HURT... i hope i could stand up for u... really really wanna protect u like a human shield...

i'm thinking if u're coming to the AIRPORT tmr, u're gonna cry, and if i see it, probably i'll END up crying too... but i noe i wont cry so easilly... i dont wanna see u cry too... i want u to LIVE happie while i'm not by yr side... i will LIVE very happie w/o u by my side... & dont worry i wont find another "LYNN" to replace u back in nz... and i hope ther's no other "ME" here... MAYB i'm jst too worried... i'm sure i shudnt be so "duo xin"... cause i noe u wont find another "ME" as i BLIF in u...

really dont wanna let go of my hands, but I noe I SHUD,
dont wanna let U out of the cage, but I noe I MUST,
wanna stay with U, but I noe I CANT,
WHAT SHUD I DO??? I JUST KNOE THAT I SHUDNT BE SO SELFISH if i really cared bout u...

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 U 4EVA MY DARLING

Monday, February 22, 2010

U

YES... it's U, U, U and U!!! i'm very happie we went out today for movie and kbox, i was angry @ u when u said u're not coming... i was angry @ u cos u always cant come out... but when i found out that u can come, my ANGRINESS turned into HAPPINESS... i dont know y i dont care y... as long as u're out with me by my side for these few days, i'm satisfied...

i will be here until friday only... i do really hope we could be together everyday until the day i go back to "PRISON"(well, it's bored ther so i say it as prison)... we did went through a LOT of stuff resulting us having a COLD WAR about a year ago... i really do regret having it with u... thinking back to it now, i feel really ashamed as it all started from a small misunderstanding...

i always thought of you when looking @ LYNN LYNN BEAR u gave me 2 years ago... today, u gave me another bear... i really hope that i could cherish it even more and not squash it or dirty it while sleeping... it reallyhurts me when u got dirty... it's as if i didnt cherish u and this makes me feel really really bad...

even though we were together for this short period, i really feel like i'm gonna leave u for a LONG LONG time... i dont really wish to be away from u... i'll try my best as i made my promise to u... i'll keep the promise to u, and study as hard as i can, not thinking of U, but to FOCUS into my studies, obtain a DEGREE as u said that u're the "FOCUS" of the family... yr dad LOVEs u the MOST and hopes that u'll marry some1 with a good study background... i'll try HARDER even if i have to wake up early and get back home late... i will still do it, FOR U MY <3...

even though i'm gonna be away from u, my everything always belong to u... and i'll always do what i promised u... i'm always telling u that i'm TOUGHER than u thought... THOSE are all LIES as i'm not as tough as u thought... i'm actually just a WEAKLING inside me... i just dont wanna WORRY u... actually i dont wish to see u sad and worry about me... as i'll always feel sad while u're sad and happie while u're happie...

i really regret for not being with u on VALENTINEs as i'm celebrating the 1st day of CNY with my family members... i really regret eveything as i'm not by yr side when u're sad...i really wanna be by yr side that MUCH... it's yr 1st VALENTINES day but i;m not by yr side, I'M REALLY SORRY as my laziness took control of me resulting me w/o a driving license... if i were hardworking enough, i would've brought u out for dinner on VALENTINES...

i really do hope to c u @ the airport sending me back to NZ, but i couldnt bear the PAIN thinking of you crying for me @ the airport... i really dont want u, my DEAREST one, to shed tears for me... 3 years is a short time as u've been waiting for my return for 2 years... i'll be back soon fullfilling what i promised u... bringing back that piece of paper, to marry u... even though i know what i said now doesnt actually count as we may not know what'll happen in the future... i'm tired already of finding the TRUE LOVE and i really feel that u're the PERFECT one... the 1 and only U...

my chinese isnt good so i dont type in chinese... i know u enjoy reading chinese but i could not fullfill that "desire" for u... i'll also not be able to go online when i'm back to NZ as my mum was angry @ my for scoring SHIT as results for my last year of HIGH SCHOOL... i really feel bad as MY RESULTS results me to not be able to get in touch with u drg weekdays...

MY DEAR LYNN LYNN,
i hereby say SORRY to u for my bad doings... i know what i've done to u broke what u PROMISED to GOD... i really couldnt control myself knowing that i'm gonna leave u behind, so my actions were for u to remember me...

LASTLY, to promise u that i'll not MISS u and treat u as a normal friend while i'm back when we're @ kfc are just WHITE LIES as i knoe i would MISS U the MOST and i just could not stop MISSING u... i also said i'll stop texting and calling u from NZ are just PROMISES THAT ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN... i really wish that u would not not reply to my messages and emails... i will for sure MISS U...

<3 u always my DEAR... XoxO from Yong...


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Sunday, February 21, 2010

well well yong

WELL DONE YONG... GLAD TO HEAR THAT U GOT A GF... WELL, MANY OTHERS SAID THAT TO ME... WHAT SHOULD I DO??? I'M GOING BACK ON FRIDAY... AND YET U CANT COME OUTING WITH US... GUESS WHAT??? I'M SAD... REALLY SAD... I REALLY FEEL BAD... I HAVE A FEELING OF MISSING U, LOVING U, AND MUCH MUCH MORE...

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO NEW ZEALAND AND LEAVE U BEHIND??? WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT??? WELL, IT'S MY FUTURE ISNT IT??? AND I'LL HAVE TO FULLFILL IT THEN... BUT I DONT WANNA LEAVE U BEHINGD... LETTING GO OF MY HANDS LETTING U FLY FREE LIKE A BIRD RELEASED FROM A CAGE...

DO U KNOE THAT I HATE IT??? DO U KNOE THAT I HATE IT WHEN U CANT COME OUT WHENEVER ASKED AS I'M GOING BACK SOON BUT U JUST HAVTA SAY NO!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??? WHY IS IT HAPPENING TO ME??? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!

I REALLY WANNA ENJOY MY LAST MOMENT WITH U... AND U... U ARE THE ONE!!! U ARE THE SPECIAL ONE!!! U ARE THE CHOSEN ONE... I REALLY WANT U TO COME OUT BUT WHY DOESNT YR DAD UNDERSTAND IT??? WHY DOESNT PARENTS UNDERSTAND US KIDS???

ANYWAYS, I REALLY HOPE U COULD GET A SCHOLARSHIP AND COME TO NEW ZEALAND WITH ME SO WE COULD BE TOGETHER, BUT I DARE NOT ASK FOR STH THAT CANT BE FULLFILLED... I REALLY WISH U COULD LIVE HAPPILY W/O MY PRESENCE... DONT CRY, DONT BE SAD... WHENEVER U'RE SAD OR ANYTHING, U SHUD HUG YONG YONG(WHICHEVER IT IS)... TEXT ME OR ANYTHING... I JUST WANT U MY DEAR TO LIVE HAPPILY... 3 YEARS WILL BE A SHORT TIME... AFTER I GET MY DEGREE, I'LL BE BACK TO MARRY U, AND THEN TAKE U WITH ME TO NEW ZEALAND... DO U WANT TO COME WITH ME??? OR DO U REJECT MY REQUEST??? WELL, IT'LL BE DECIDED IN A FEW YEARS TIME SO DONT BOTHER ANSWERING MY QUESTION...

<3 FROM 公蘑菇......